My mother is a serial forwarder of spam. I suppose with that kind of quantity, it was only a matter of time before she actually hit upon a winner. With the holidays quickly approaching — and just how the f*ck did THAT happen so fast? — I bring you...
Walkin' in a Doggie Wonderland
Dog tags ring, are you listenin'?
In the lane, snow is glistenin'.
It's yellow, NOT white,
I've been there tonight,
Marking up my winter wonderland.
Smell that tree? That's my fragrance.
It's a sign for wandering vagrants;
"Avoid where I pee, it's MY pro-per-ty!
Marked up as my winter wonderland."
In the meadow dad will build a snowman,
Following the classical design.
Then I'll lift my leg and let it go, man!
So all the world will know that it's
Mine-mine-mine!
Straight from me to the fence post,
Flows my natural incense boast;
"Stay off my turf, this small piece of earth,
I marked it as my winter wonderland."
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