Walk Like an Egyptian - Part Three

Corn-fused? See Part 1 and Part 2.

So we flew from Cairo into Luxor on Egyptian Air. Really racking up the frequent flyer miles on this trip, let me tell you. We were met at our Cairo hotel by the tour guide and driver, the guide walked us into the airport and then helped us check in at the counter. When we were all done he hands us our boarding passes and then he says to me, "and here's your invitation." Invitation to what? Turns out he got me upgraded to first class. Good thing to, my stomach was marching a picket line the whole flight. And for no reason either. Good thing it was a short trip, just over an hour. And they fed us on that hour flight, not just stale peanuts and pretzels either. For those keeping score, Egyptian Air is almost as good as Swiss Air. The airlines in the states are starting to look a lot like the Greyhound Bus of the skies.

We landed in Luxor and were met at the airport by a new tour guide and driver. I was immediately struck by how much more European Luxor feels. Don't get me wrong, the shop keepers are every bit as obnoxious and the drivers equally insane, but the the town seems more laid back. It's a much smaller city, not as crowded.

The new hotel was right in the middle of everything, yeah! No more trapped in a gated community! We were actually within walking distance of Luxor Temple. Our room was just ok, one king bed and a roll away for The Kid (awesome) but the AC never really worked the whole time we were there (less than awesome). This hotel was also very resort-like with a beautiful pool area.

Since it was early we picked up our new Egyptologist, dropped off our stuff and got right to the site seeing. We visited Karnak Temple and Luxor Temple in the first day. In ancient times, when Luxor was Thebes, there was an avenue of sphinxes that connected the two temples. This road has only recently been rediscovered and they are in the process of restoring it. At first glance it looks like a wide ravine, about 8 feet deep. Then you start to see the sphinxes that are lined up on each side, workers busy resetting the old cobblestones. Remember in part two when I told you that the government in Cairo was having trouble relocating homes and businesses that had been built over archeological sites? Not a problem in Luxor. The mayor here is in the process of turning the city into an open-air museum. Many homes and business were taken down to clear the Avenue of the Sphinxes which will eventually reconnect the two temples.

One exception to this out with the new, in with the old attitude is the mosque that was built about 700 years ago right on top of Luxor Temple. They had to move the entrance but the mosque is still in use today.

There's also a spot of 3500 year old porn in Luxor Temple. The story goes that the Pharo's kingdom was at war so all of the men went off to fight. There was one man who was too old to go, he stayed back with the women and children. Upon returning from the war the Pharo was shocked to find all of the women in the kingdom were pregnant. Aparantly this dude had been busy! The Pharo was so angry that he cut off one of the old man's legs and one of his arms and then had him exiled to the desert. The man was so fertile that an oasis grew up around him and so it was decided that he must be a God and he was welcomed back into the kingdom. The man is immortalized in may places, among them Luxor Temple. You'll know him when you see him, he's the guy with the giant pecker poking out of his loin cloth. The end of which is now black from centuries of women rubbing the tip for fertitility. Yeah.

Karnak Temple is a huge complex of sanctuaries, the further into the complex you go, the older stuff gets! While we were here the Egyptologist explained that many cultures had made additions to this site. The Greeks in particular started the structures that frame the entrance but they were never finished because, as she said, the Greeks never finish anything! If that's true, the Egyptians must have learned it from them because I have never seen so many unfinished buildings in my life. Apparently they don't collect the taxes on a structure until it's complete, "no roof, no tax" so most buildings have an open air top floor complete with staircase to nowhere and rebar sticking out of the top of the concrete support beams. Buildings in Egypt are pretty much being constructed today the same way they were 3500 years ago except instead of mud bricks and grass they have moved on to concrete and rebar. I saw several places that had a fancy wall and gates around the property but there was just a shack in the middle of the yard. Almost as if they started by building the wall and then ran out of money before they got to work on the house!

Luxor and Karnak Temple were close to the hotel so we were headed back by lunch time. On the way, Trophy Husband asked where there was a good place to get lunch. The Egyptologist starts rattling off restaurants. No. We want to eat where Egyptians eat, not tourists! Then TH said the magic word, Koshary. The driver and the guide both started laughing. Not laughing at us, just at the fact that an American knew what that was. It's pretty much the Egyptian equivalent of grabbing a hot dog on the street in Chicago. That was lunch both days we were in Luxor. It's just basic beans and pasta but it's so good!

We did hit a place in the market area for dinner. The kid ordered grilled cheese and TH and I split something else. I couldn't tell you what the main entree was but the appetiser was 6 different kinds of dips and flat bread to go with it. I've never eaten so much hummus and baba ganoush in my life. And the tahini was fabulous too! Breakfast, lunch and dinner all over Egypt, bring it on!

Day two of Luxor on Friday!

BAD Visual Tuesdays

During the long life of our friendship (20 years plus), the four of us have often OVER-SHARED about our personal lifes, illnesses, the ole day to day rigamorale, etc.

Today, I embark on a new Tuesday tradition (Pretty Much the Opposite of Wordless Wednesdays) Drum Roll Puhleeeeeeease.......

Bad Visual Tuesdays

To my husband of almost 3 years: Hon, If it's now a skirt, it's no longer underwear.

Key the Hawaiian music...

Walk Like an Egyptian - Part Two

If you are scratching your head wondering what the heck is going on, see Part 1.

The first day we went out to the Step Pyramid and then to Memphis. Just amazing. I've seen this stuff in books and on TV my whole life but you really don't get a feel for the scale of it until it's before your eyes. You'll notice in the pictures of the step pyramid (and the others) that it's very rough in texture. When the pyramids were new they had a veneer of smooth white granite that has been removed and repurposed over the ages because that was so much easier than getting fresh stuff from the quarries. One of the shots from the pyramids at Giza has a pyramid with a smooth top, some of the granite is still on that one. The pyramids would also have been painted in bright colors. It's no wonder they were cleaned out by thieves, it was practically a neon sign saying "we've got good stuff buried here!"

The next day we visited the Pyramids at Giza and the Sphinx just outside of the city. On a clear day, and the pollution and sand are so thick that there aren't many of those, you can see them from downtown Cairo. There are houses and shops built very close to the Sphinx and people have been finding artifacts in the surrounding area. The government has been trying to move these homes and business but they are owned by very powerful families so they're not having much luck. In the meantime the owners of these buildings are busy digging through the sand under their foundations. Seven people died recently in a homemade tunnel. Unfortunately they had just discovered a cache of artifacts so I'm sure someone else will be digging again soon.

On our final day in Cairo we hit the Egyptian National Museum. This is where they house, among other things, the entire contents of King Tut's tomb including the solid gold head piece. His mummy is still occupying his tomb in the Valley of the Kings. When a new Pharo was installed they would start work on his tomb right after coronation. Sounds like an awesome first day of work right, "So sir, where do you want to be buried?" King Tut was not a king for very long so his tomb is not very impressive when compared to those of Pharos who held power much longer, but it was chocked full of stuff. They spent 10 years cataloging and relocating it. All of the items in a Pharos tomb would be covered with hieroglyphics, his name featured prominently everywhere. There were many items from King Tut's tomb that had other names on them. There's speculation that the ancient Egyptians used the King's death as an opportunity to unload some extra stuff from unpopular families to make up for the short comings they were faced with at his early demise. To date King Tut's tomb is the only one to have been found that had not already been stripped clean by robbers. It's thought that thieves never located his tomb because there is another one right next to it. This neighboring tomb was constructed for a Pharo that followed King Tut (and I'm a looser and can't remember the guy's name). During the construction of the newer tomb the excavating materials were piled in front of and on top of King Tut's tomb. This pile of rubble and the fact that the second tomb was in such close proximity to King Tut's kept it hidden.

After the museum we went to the Citadel and the Mosque of Muhammad Ali (not the fighter, the one that ruled Egypt). The Mosque is faced with white alabaster, not that you would ever know it because of the thick coating of pollution and dust it's wearing. The powers that be are currently arguing about the best way to clean it, and if they should clean it at all. I think they should at least change the burnt out light bulbs inside and replace the broken globes that hang from the ceiling but hey, what do I know.

Our final stop that day was at a HUGE tourist market. These vendors could teach lessons to the guys hawking stuff in the tourist areas of Mexico. They did everything but stand in front of you and block your path. One in particular was right up front about it, "How can I take your money?" These vendors were pretty obnoxious in other ways too. Some of the women in Egypt choose to wear the long robe and head scarf, others wear more western clothing and just the head scarf and then there are those who choose to just wear western clothing. The men in Egypt appear to be of the opinion that any woman (Egyptian or otherwise) who is not wearing at least a head scarf, is open to cat-calls and other comments. If I had this to do all over again I would have worn pants the whole time but it would not have completely solved the problem. By the time we left Egypt I was ready to skin the next a-hole who opened his mouth and wear his pelt like a cape as a warning to the rest of his kind.

Off to Luxor!

Walk Like an Egyptian - Part One

So I'm back. What? You didn't know I was gone? Wow. I can just feel the love. Ok, Allow me to explain. Trophy Husband is currently stationed on the Sinai Peninsula with the National Guard. He's been there since the first week of September. The Kid and I left on March 12 to go meet him in Cairo. Ok, are we all on the same page now? Good. And I'm going to warn you, these are going to be long long long posts and I'm sorry about that but there's just too much to tell.

The journey from KC to Cairo took three flights, each one better than the last. Thank GOD because that flight from KC to Newark was just dreadful. We flew from Newark to Switzerland and from there into Cairo on a Swiss Air flight. Let me tell you right now, if you have the opportunity to take a Swiss Air flight, do it. The food was great and there was a lot of it and the seats were super comfy, even the cheap ones that I bought.

We were met at the airpot in Cairo by TH and our tour guide. Yep, I said tour guide. Let me just take a minute to tell you that this trip was nothing like our normal trips. I usually (or TH) book all of the flights and hotels ourselves and once we get to town we rely heavily on public transit to get to the sites that we want to see on our own schedule. This trip was all guided tours and transfers. That's just the way it has to be done in Egypt. We were taken to our hotel and made arrangements to be picked up the next morning by our driver and the guide. We would then pick up the Egyptologist who would be with us at each of the sites we visited. And she was awesome. Her english was excellent and she knew everything.

The hotel in Cairo was very nice. It was a walled off resort on the edge of the city with a beautiful pool. But the pool closed at sundown each day so we didn't use it once. Our room had two double beds and a roll away cot that had been added for The Kid. A bit unnecessary since I planed on sleeping with my husband but whatever. The thing that sucked was the whole "walled off on the edge of the city" bit. As I mentioned above we like to be able to do our own thing and in this case were so far away from everything that we were pretty much stuck. There were two restaurants on the property so we ate there. And the food was fantastic but I'm no fan of being stuck.

Cairo is hot and dirty and crowded and loud. The craziest drivers in the world live here. One morning as we drove past the lovely gardens of the city's mental hospital our driver joked that that's where new drivers are recruited from! There's easily 3 times as much traffic as the streets can handle. Stoplights are few and far between. Stop signs and lane stripes are taken as loose suggestions. A two lane street may get divided up into three or four lanes of solid bumper to bumper traffic. On one trip our driver took what looked for all the world like a modern highway but it turned out to be more of the same. And lined with people looking for rides. Cars stop right in the flow of traffic to pick people up and if there's an accident there's no pulling off to the shoulder, even if you could get there it's already being used as a lane of traffic. Every single vehicle I saw in Cairo was marked up like a bumper car. At one point I watched as someone climbed into a car through an open window to pull out of a parking space because the other cars were parked too close to allow the doors to be opened. The guy should have bought a hatch back, he'd have had an easier time of it! I'm glad we had a private car and a driver for this trip. I wouldn't drive in this city for anything, it's scary enough just being a pedestrian!

More on Monday!

Filth, Flarn, Filth

Have I mentioned how much I LOVE Joel McHale?

In honor of Wordless Wednesday, here are a couple of pictures from the last episode of Community (you're welcome!):

Seriously, this is one of my favorite shows right now. Absolutely hilarious!

Heaven on Earth

Last week we went to Hamburger Mary's in the Crossroads District of Kansas City for a friends birthday party.

This place has a great atmosphere, great wait staff and great food. As you all know from reading our blog I have food allergies and sometimes wait staff get huffy when I ask them to check and make sure the food I am ordering doesn't contain the stuff I am allergic to.

Well our waiter at Hamburger Mary's was fabulous. He had the chef check and double checked himself by reading labels to make sure I could eat what I ordered. LOVE HIM!!!! True Customer Service!!!!

I ordered the GLBT (Gauc, Lettuce, Bacon and Tomato with a spicy Mayo) and a Beer my mouth was doing the happy dance when I bit into my sandwich. HC got a Captain and Coke and the Mac and Cheese Burger which is a burger with fried mac and cheese and chili on it. Yummy!!!

Then dessert time came and we looked at the menu and saw FRIED TWINKIES. OMG!!! We had to order them.

As more friends arrived they all asked what we were eating and we told them. FRIED TWINKIES!!!!

They too ordered FRIED TWINKIES!!!! So our table alone had 5 orders of FRIED TWINKIES!!!!

I know. Not healthy but OMG they are heaven on Earth.

If you are in KCMO check out Hamburger Mary's it is a most stop Hamburger Place.

I ONLY WANTED 1 SCOOP!!!

This is what I yelled at the non-english speaking person working at Chipotle yesterday. To go with my Burrito Bowl, I only wanted 1 scoop of their Green Chile Tomatillo (a medium spiced salsa- though to my southern palate- Hella Hot). Instead they gave me 3 whopping scoopfulls. So we just added extra sour cream to help with the additional heat. It wasn't bad. I didn't really notice the heat..... THEN.

I have been stressed out of my mind this week at work. We are short 2 ladies and of course the world tilts on its axis and everything goes Chaotic. I have had a sporadic muscle tic in my right eyebrow for like 38 hours. In addition, it's evil cousin has been spasming at the weirdest moments in my left palm as well. Though admittedly...not as often.

I am on medication to make my monthly flow start. SO I can get back on the crazy medication that will make my almost dry ovaries start working again and give us a chance to have a baby. Taking this medication makes me hormonal, gives me cramps and headaches. JOY. This medication also says don't take if you are trying to get pregnant or are pregnant. Sooo...I am trying and that is the reason for the medication! Remember this point.

Last night for dinner, I make BLT's. It just sounded good, ya know? I had the bacon and iceberg lettuce- So why not? The hubby doesn't eat vegetables so of course he had a bacon, cheese, miracle whip sandwich. I cooked the bacon a little fast and it tasted a bit burnt. But it still tasted great.

So I go to bed early. I have been making myself go to bed at 10 pm to help combat stress and to give my body the restfull sleep it needs so we can procreate already.

Liquid Fire, Lava, HOT. Burning...Burning...Burning.... IS this what Edward felt when Carlyle brought him over to the dark side? Unimaginable burning in my throat. I suspect that I was experiencing my first REAL case of Heartburn. O mama. I got up and gargled water. Coughed and coughed...it felt like the lining of my throat was being scraped with a razor blade. I went and had a glass of milk. It seemed to soothe the burning enough that I could go back to bed.

Of course, my sleep wasn't restful at all. I dreamt that I was pregnant and we found out way too late. The doctor was doing a sonogram and this wild eyed mal-formed baby with crazy fly away hair was floating around inside of me.

OMG... I will never get 3 scoops again. Ever.

Just... Wow.

I'm still out of the country and I really sort of hate to even post this because there will be a full trip report to come as soon as I hit home turf again but I just had to share this little gem we spotted while in New Sharm. Call it a teaser.

We are currently on vacation from the vacation. We spent three days in Cairo and two more in Luxor before flying over to Sharm El Shiek. We are staying on the base where Trophy Husband is stationed. For free. And eating for free. The acomidations are not much but did I mention the free part? Being surounded by mostly Americans in this quiet area on the Red Sea is a lot like being home. The base is right between what the locals call "New Sharm" and "Old Sharm." New Sharm is growing at a haphazzard, out of control pace aparantly without any sort of regulation. It's pretty much the opposite of authentically Egyption. Imagine Branson without the bumberboats, but dirtier.

When the guys TH is here with go into town they like to play a game called "White Pants" where they tally up the occurances of white (typically linen) pants being worn over dark underwear. See above. This is actually near the bottom of my list of bizarre sites, more to come.

Wordless Wednesdays with Words

We went to a furniture store over in KCK to purchase a new mattress and box springs for the guest room. We purchased said items and pulled around back to have the items loaded into our trailer. While waiting for the dock guys to bring the mattress and box springs out Hot Carl looks out the window and said "Found the Hussies next wordless Wednesdays," then points to a motorcycle:

Look Close and you will see the person that owns this bike, has used duct tape and foam to create a wind block for this bike, instead of buying a cover that fits around the handle bar. HC then notice that the right turn signal is also duct taped on.

Benefit of being married to a Hardware Guy

Hot Carl works in a Hardware Store. If you have ever seen the British TV show Hardware that's pretty much the type of shop he works in. If you have not seen it, rent it.

Well HC is a true handy man. He has made me book shelves, cabinets in the kitchen, fixed things around the house, does electrical work and built the deck on our first house among many other things. So it is beneficial that he works in a hardware store and we get a discount on everything.

Some items you would not think a hardware store would care but his does:
18 quart Turkey Roaster that was on clearance and we bought for $15.00
Beer Can Chicken Cookers for the Grill that we bought for $5.00 each
Giant Deep Fryer that we bought for $9.00
Rotating Pizza Cooker that we bought for $11.00

Many other random household items, but my favorite and newest, is the West Bend Egg Cooker.

This little gem poaches and hard boils eggs super fast. I loved poached eggs but I like them hard, no running yellow stuff. So it takes 15 mins to poach them. Basically I eat a hardboiled egg cooked out of the shell and call it poached.

HC comes home with this the other night and makes 7 hard boiled eggs and 4 poached eggs for tomorrow in the new cooker and does them all in under 15 mins. We both take 2 poached eggs to work for breakfast the next day, and I snag two hard boiled eggs for snacks later in the day.

About 3pm I get hungry so I go to the little kitchen at the office open the fridge and pull out the hard boiled eggs. I crack the shells, peel them and throw the shells in the trash can. I sit down at my desk and eat my eggs. An hour later one of the guys I work with comes in my office and asked:

GAT: “Did you just fart?”

Me: “No. Why?”

GAT: “It smells like sulfur in here.”

Me: “Oh, no I just peeled a couple hard boiled eggs and ate them.”

GAT: “Sure you did; farter.”

Me: “No, really go look in the trash and you will see the egg shells.” He walks over and looks at the egg shells.

GAT: “OK, I believe you.”

Me: “You should, and by the way you are the one that crops dust the office and giggles while you do it.”

GAT: “True.”

Moral of the story if you eat hard boiled eggs at work expect to be accused of farting.

Teaberry Gum or Antacid?

Hot Carl knows I love tea, it is pretty much all I drink. I also drink it Southern style which is sweet. I grew up on sweet tea. Swear to God my parents put sweet tea in our baby bottles. We took sweet sea in our school lunch thermos and other kids would try and trade their milk or juice for it. Not happening.

Anyway, Hot Carl saw this gum called Teaberry and thought “Wow tea flavored gum, Tofurkey will love this.” He bought the gum and brought it home. He hands it to me and I get all excited thinking it is tea flavored gum, but then he says smell it.

This reminds me of that stupid macho game guys play where they try to find the most awful smelling thing and outdo each other. Totally immature and totally a guy thing (I know this because I grew up with two brothers).

So I take the dare and smell it. It does not smell bad, just odd. They is no real way to describe the smell. We set it on the night stand and leave it for a couple of days. Today HC gets brave and unwraps it, then smells it again, his eyes light up and he brings it to me to once again have a sniff.
HC “What does it smell like?”

Me “I still don’t know, kinda like toothpaste.”

HC “No it smells like Pepto Bismol.”

Me “OMG you are right, except there is a taco meat scent in there too.”

HC “You’re right.”

Me “Taste it!”

HC ”Fine.” HC puts the gum in his mouth and starts to chew. “It has the consistency of baseball card gum, you know the kind if you bite wrong jabs your gum and you bleed.”

I start laughing at this point. “What does it taste like.”

HC “Not sure still waiting for flavor, wait there is a hint of mint.”

Me “Like Pepto. It is Pepto gum.”

We both start laughing and I grab a stick to take to work. It is on my desk staring at me. Maybe after lunch I will get brave enough to try the Pepto/Taco Meat smelling gum. If you are brave enough to try it yourself it is called “Teaberry,” enjoy.

Uber-Nerds

Last night Hot Carl and I were watching Big Bang Theory one of our favorite TV shows. It is a show about 4 Uber-Nerds that are scientist and one hot girl that lives next door and dates the one Uber-Nerd that is somewhat normal.

Hot Carl and I are both Uber-Nerds so I feel like I may talk about our kind. In last night’s episode the guys go to a garage sale and get a box full of stuff for $60.00. They get home open the box and start digging through the contents.

They pull out an A.L.F. doll (80’s show about an Alien Life Form), when Hot Carl sees the A.L.F. he yells, “ALF a.k.a. Gordon Schumway I had one of those.”

The guys continue digging through the box and pull out a Spock doll head no body, a Mr. T doll no head, to which I exclaim, “A-Team I had a Mr. T doll, and the van.” Sidebar: The Mr. T doll I had when I was 8 years old came with a feather on an alligator clip that was attached to his ear. I thought what a great idea. I unclipped it from his ear and attached it to mine. Then screamed to Holy Heaven!!! Alligator clips are not meant for human skin and HURT!!!!!!!!!!! I detached it and put it in my hair, lesson learned.

Back to the show, they then find the Spock body with the Mr. T head on it and Leonard says, “I pity the fool that is Illogical.” I lost it, I couldn’t stop laughing. They continue to dig and find “THE” Lord of the Rings Ring. It is a prop from the movie. They fight over the ring for the rest of the episode. I tell you this story because it is leading somewhere, just stay with me. Since they are fighting over the ring and they don’t want anyone of the others to hold. Leonard’s girlfriend Penny holds the ring.

The ring is on a gold chain that Penny wears around her neck. At night Leonard’s roommate Sheldon sneaks into Leonard’s bed room to try and steal the ring off of Penny’s neck. While attempting to steal the ring he wakes Penny up who screams and punches Sheldon in the face, who then runs away.

This is where the story is going: I have night terrors; these are not night mares, but night terrors. I will scream and punch and kick in my sleep and not know I am doing it. Hot Carl once and only once (Johnny’s Dangerously movie reference there) did he try and wake me from one of these night terrors. I wake up still thinking I am dreaming. I haul off and cold cocked poor Hot Carl. I laid him out flat. He had a bruise the next day across his left check and jaw.

The only thing I said to him was: "Why did you try and wake me up, you know better than to wake a person with night terrors, you should have let me dream through it. Learned your lesson didn’t you." I really did feel bad about hitting him, but he had been warned before.

Oh well pleasant dreams.

Can you say Boogie Nights

MadDog, This One's for You...

Parent Child Communications

At 1:30 this afternoon I got a text message from The Kid.

The Kid: Need money for winsteads for ksmn night. Can have 15$?

Me: Right this second?

TK: When you get home. Gotta be there at 7 so jake ryan is picking me up

Me: Isn't that the guy from Sixteen Candles?

TK: Lol no

How many 15 year old boys know 80's movie trivia like that? I've raised this kid up right. Or scarred him for life. It could go either way at this point.

Wordless Wednesday (with words)

I love to be inspired. Even if it's only for a minute ...

Bird, Bird, Bird is the Word

I decided to be a spectacular wife this weekend and took lunch to Burn Notice since he forgot his and couldn't leave to go get anything. After I left and started driving home through a residential neighborhood, this darted out in front of me (of course it was more of a bob, than a dart) ...

So if a black chicken crosses your path ... is that good luck or bad luck? I'm going to go ahead and go with good!

It's true though, according to Bill Murray in Stripes: "Why did the chicken cross the road? To get from the left to the right."

Atomic Bomb the Starbuck¹s Way

Everyday two of the guys at work and I make a Starbucks run around 2pm. Iknow it is expensive, but it is my vice. And I get a Grande, Soy, VanillaCrème, No Whip, No Foam so it is no caffeine and only $1.82 compared totheir Grande, No Fat, No Whip Mocha¹s which are $3.99 and a ton of caffeineor as we call them Kung Fu coffee aka The Bruce Lee.

Well yesterday I wanted a snack so I went to the freezer pulled out two ofmy breakfast French toast sticks purchased in bulk from Sam¹s. I went to theMicrowave to warm them up and Ribman¹s coffee was in there. Apparently hewarmed it up and forgot about it. I took it out place my food in and nukedit for a minute and it was perfect when it came out. I then placed Ribman¹scoffee in and nuked it for a minute.

Now I was thinking when I nuke a cup of tea in the morning I nuke it for 2mins and it is great. There was half as much coffee in this cup so I thoughtone minute would be good.
I WAS WRONG.

I opened the microwave door when the ding went off. And there was anexplosion of Mocha to rival a nuclear blast. I guess 1 Grande, No Fat, NoWhip Mocha + 1 minute in a Microwave is the poor man¹s way to make an AtomicBomb.

There was coffee on the ceiling of the microwave, on the sides, the door,under the rotating tray and leaking down the door onto the cabinet. CRAP!!!HOLY CRAP!!! I take Ribman his coffee and set it on his desk or at least themangled paper cup that used to hold his coffee. He just looks at me andstarts to laugh. I said I¹ll be right back I have to clean your coffee offthe microwave. He asked how long I nuked it and I replied apparently tolong. One minute makes it boil. He said 30 seconds is usually enough.

15 minutes later and a roll over paper towels I am done cleaning the Mocharemains off the microwave and I get to finally sit down and enjoy my nowcold snack.

Lesson learned:

Coffee in microwave for 30 seconds = yummy.

Coffee in microwave for 60 seconds =radioactive nuclear waste cleanup.